I cockslap morals
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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