Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
