This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
