Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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