Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
