if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
