butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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