apparently the secret to your success is patron
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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