is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
