She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
