spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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