THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
