Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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