Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
