Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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