yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You took a bar mat shot.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
