Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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