I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
