I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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