You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
