better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
