i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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