if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
