I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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