I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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