I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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