Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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