I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it's like iHOP with fire
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
