dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
