thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
