Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
