Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
