and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
