meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
