Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
