honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
