Im at strip club and am horny
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
