i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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