id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
