Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
