I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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