this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
