Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
