if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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