just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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