is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
