Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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