i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
