He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
