Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
