Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
