porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
